wtf is my problem?

im starting to dislike him
i don't know if its my period talking or whether im honestly losing interest
or the fact that his criticisms, negativity, complaints are pulling me down
he actually brought a whole new level to the words "whining/complainer/negativity" to my books.

last night, he complained that im ditzy at times - that i live in my own world
and that i shld be more practical and be a realist
actually i don't deny that and i didn't
though i am realistic at times, i actually prefer looking at the world through rose-coloured glasses.
but u know if i think practical thoughts, i wouldn't be in the "we're together,we're not together" situation with him now, would i?

and if that wasn't enough, he complained more about my attitude and even my physical fitness. i ask u, would u even take that lying down? of cos i defended myself!!! then he complained that we always bicker and that he never had any arguments with his ex-gfs.

LIKE HELL I WOULD ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT. for some1 who complains nonstop to me about every single thing, his friends, his job and even about his life. he quarrels with his mum, his sis and even "broke up" with his longtime friends within this year. how would i believe he'd never quarrel with his ex-gfs? were they fucking morons who never said a word/never defended themselves/never had an opinion?

SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD POINT OUT HIS FUCKING FAULTS AND NOT QUARREL

i wish i was already living in my own home with my husband and have my baby suckling at my tits. (i know it sounds crude but bear with me) instead of having a fucked up non-relationship where things are gg nowhere and no1 is happy.

half of me really wants to find some1 else
at this point in time, maybe more than half
=/
~hating him~

AND U KNOW THE BEST THING? I COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM IN MY BLOG BUT I DON'T FUCKING SAY A WORD ABOUT HIS FAULTS TO HIM (just so we don't argue). AND HE CAN COMPLAIN THAT I DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM (READ: HE CALLS THIS MOTIVATION AND PUSHING HIM TO BE BETTER) then FINE, i nag him and then he says HE KNOWS, AND THAT I DON'T NEED TO SAY ANYMORE!

then he ends off with a "i don't like people to nag at me but i appreciate it"

so he basically picks a fight with me, obviously i defend myself.

and i fight back

then he says he doesn't like to fight (WTF, LIKE I DO?)

then he complains i don't PUSH him

(i honestly think he's expecting me to pick a fight with him but im not gg to do that)

SO we end up fighting about not fighting

and we finish it with a let's not fight anymore/let's not do this anymore

CAN YOU SAY THESE WORDS WITH ME NOW,

WTF!!!

UPDATE (5 min later): u see, this is why i love my blog. cos i just jot down all my negative emotions and i feel so much better. :) i don't hate him now. its like wth right? but yeah, that's me. i feel more positive after blogging. *sigh* i dread meeting him nowadays..