so anyways, was looking through my blogs and realised i only blog about my feelings.

well, its an online diary right? and not many people know about the site anyways.
plus im not some bigshot blogger who does advertorials, have many readers, or am always looking for money-making deals.
nor am i the informative type. to link articles which i find interesting, or debate about pointless stuff/political stuff/random articles... (though i do link them on fb)

and if u look at my blog closely, i don't blog about my everyday to day stuff though its quite interesting at times and dramatic. *oh the drama mamas in my life*

i blog about my feelings cos i don't get them across to pple often. my daddy always said im a bottler. i bottle up all my emotions and no1 ever knows until i spill. even then they don't know about these emotions cos they don't know about this blog.

well, i spilt some last night. its been an ongoing thing anyways. always spilling with him. always bickering about why he doesn't like me... im tired.

mr j sent me a bouquet of roses again. and i kept wondering why he never did anything for me, like send me presents or what nots. nothing romantic-like.. (though i liked when he sent me desserts for a period of time but i didn't really like it like it cos i felt i was putting on weight from it!! i also liked when he cooked me a special dinner for my bday, wagyu steak/codfish/salad, but he kept complaining about the food which i didn't like cos it felt like he was more experimenting on the food rather than cooking it specially for my bday)

tbh, i don't think im hard to please nowadays. i really dont think i am with this guy. with the others, it used to be very different.. in fact, i think i've grown up quite a bit regarding r/s.

so back to the story, i spilt. i was in a really bad mood till he got pissed himself. well u know what, things would have gotten alot better during the night if he

1) would just shut up about his ex-gfs
2) stopped telling me stories about the sweet romantic stuff he used to do for his ex-gfs
3) didn't tell me he "informed" his ex-gf about the meteor shower cos "she loves stargazing" and he didnt tell me about it and totally forgot i liked stargazing as well.

so i argued with him.

he says he doesn't do such stuff for me bcos he aint wooing me. he says he didn't even want to get into a r/s this year. he says he's still hung over his bitch of an ex-gf (i really think they fucking belong together. fucked up selfish and egomaniacal pple).he says he doesnt think we would work out anyways.

so we aint talking now.

life's a fucking bitch

FML

might take some fucking sleeping pills tonight. if i have some. all i have is a bottle of weak weak really weak sleeping pills. oh wells, if i die due to an overdose, u know what happened.

love,
shar